I Ran Away from You
by the Black Rose
Summary: AxL. 'How am I supposed to need you? Huh? Why am I supposed to need you? Because our parents decided we should marry each other and have children? Does that mean I have to need you, too' Athrun's voice echoed in the clearing.
1. I Ran Away From You

**Title:** I Ran Away from You  
**Author:** the Black Rose  
**Pairing:** Athrun x Lacus  
**Fandom:** Gundam Seed  
**Theme:** #11, Gardenia  
**Disclaimer:** I do not own Gundam Seed. This fanfiction has no commercial value and I am not making any kind of profit or income off of this story, or the use of characters owned by Sunrise and Bandai.

**I Ran Away From You**  
By the Black Rose

Rain fell in a grey curtain just beyond the edge of Lacus's umbrella. Drops of water clung to the ends of the umbrella's metal spokes for several seconds before the PLANTs gravity pulled them down - only to be replaced and begin the cycle anew. The grass practically sang while it soaked up the nutrients. A fresh, green scent filled the air, and reminded the young woman that rain didn't have to be sad….

_'It's not just an end. It's a beginning as well.'_

Lacus stepped forward; her shoes splished through small puddles near her feet. She bent over the left side of the grave and placed the bouquet of gardenias at the foot of the headstone.

"It's very nice to see you again. Mrs. Zala." She straightened up, taking the umbrella with her. "I'm sorry it's been so long since the last time."

The world inside the umbrella felt calm and cool. A gentle tap of raindrops against the protective fabric was really the only sound she could hear.

"I couldn't bring Athrun again. But I know he misses you, and thinks of you often…." She swallowed and tightened her grasp on the umbrella. "I'm afraid he spends too much time alone."

The sound of water spraying – from rubber slicing through the puddles of rain – invaded her tiny haven. Lacus turned her head and saw his car come to a quick stop in the parking area for the gravesite. Her breath caught in her throat. "Athrun…"

She glanced down. Long blades of grass stood still; their stalks gathered beads of water until the drops ran together and flowed to the heart of the plant.

Running footsteps beat against slick concrete. Splish splish splish splish splosh! They stopped.

"Lacus! I've been looking all over for you."

She swallowed air and it burned all the way down her throat. The young woman opened her mouth to say something in response, but the words fled from her mind before they were even fully formed.

"What are you doing here?" He sounded like he was far away. She looked up. The rain continued to fall in silvery sheets between them - at times it was so thick, Athrun almost disappeared.

"Answer me, Lacus. What are you doing here?"

He sounded so angry. What was there to be angry about?

_'The letter.'_ Lacus thought. She blinked and Athrun's face came back into focus. He wasn't a great distance away after all. She could see his green eyes glaring right at her. His dark eyebrows pinched his face into a frown. Blue hair plastered itself to the skin of his cheeks and his forehead. He wore his maroon-colored uniform jacket, but she knew it was made of cloth – not something that would repel the rain.

"You said you were leaving." He took a step closer. "Leaving to go where?"

The curtain closed again; only the watercolor outline of her former fiancé remained visible.

It was peaceful…It was like standing under a waterfall; the only sound was the quiet rush of the rain…. She moved closer to Mrs. Zala's final resting place. Athrun was angry with her. Angry because of the letter. But what had she done but finally tried to tell him—

"Dammit, Lacus - say something!"

* * *

Athrun's voice cracked on the last word. How long had he been searching for her? Two hours? Three? And when he finally found her… He grit his teeth at the faraway look on Lacus's face, and felt the urge to grab her by the shoulders and shake. 

He stepped forward, but her voice stopped him cold.

"I have always felt alone."

Athrun blinked. Water trickled down his face. "Wha—?"

"My parents were both wonderful people. I know they loved me." The ends of her pink hair stuck to the back of her navy dress. The color, he thought, looked too somber on her - her skin appeared to be almost white by comparison.

"My father, whenever he could be around, would tell me how important I was to him." She bowed her head. "How much he cared about me."

"He gave his life for me."

"Lacus, I…" Athrun swallowed.

"My mother… I know she still looks down and watches over me from heaven." Lacus raised her head to stare up at the sky. The umbrella tilted back, and he could see the raindrops hit her cheeks.

"I never really knew her, but I like to believe I could always feel her love, too." Her voice sounded patient, detached – as if she was in another world. Another world where everything was perfect and calm, while he felt like the ragged survivor of an emotional storm.

"Why are you—"

"And so I grew up, with two parents that loved me, and many people who proclaimed affection for me at some point in my life. I believed them." The umbrella was back in place – protecting her from the drizzle. "And I felt their love for me. How could someone want or need more?" Lacus held out her left hand; her fingers beckoned raindrops to land on their tips

_'She sounds…so sad.'_

"But even though I knew how loved I was, I was never very good at convincing my heart to believe something other than what it felt."

_'What does that mean?'_

"And so I was still alone."

The rain continued to fall in dismal, grey sheets. Drops of water collected in the crevices between his eyes and the bridge of his nose. He blinked them away. She lowered the umbrella and let it rest on the ground. His fiancée, ex-fiancée, whatever she was…propped the handle up on the stone that marked his mother's grave.

No longer protected, the rain wasted no time in assaulting her hair, her skin, her clothes… "Lacus?"

"You were a gift to me in many ways."

Athrun felt all the air rush out of his lungs.

"Even just the knowledge that you existed was an unexpected offering. My father told me that I would marry you, and it was so startling… I felt elated! Like someone had just given me the gift I wished for most in the world."

His mouth went dry.

"I was so young then… But for the first time, it was as if I wouldn't have to be alone. There would be someone beside me. Someone to listen, to understand…

"I became impatient to meet you. That day…that first day I remember… You became real."

-

_"I'm…I'm Athrun Zala. Your…that is…I mean… I'm your fiancé." _

Lacus Clyne, the pop idol and very pretty girl gave him a beautiful smile. "It's nice to meet you, Athrun Zala. I'm delighted, really."

"Y-you are?"

"Of course!" Her eyes brightened, and Athrun couldn't help but feel…something tug his own mouth into a grin.

"It's so exciting to meet someone for the first time. And especially someone who I'll be seeing so much of." She tilted her head and seemed to be observing him. Her smile fell away. "Well, I suppose that won't be for a while, though."

"N-no. Not for a long time. At least, I hope."

"You…hope?" Her eyebrows pinched together in the center of her forehead. She didn't look angry, just…

"I! I-I didn't mean it like that. I just meant—"

"I understand." Her features relaxed again. "We're still both very young."

"Thank you," he said as she turned to lead him inside her house.

"For what?"

"For understanding…what I meant."

-

"You were amazing then."

Athrun stared. _'Then? What was I then except a tongue-tied idiot who was mad at his father for making that decision for me? It was you—'_

"You're still the same…"

_'No. No, I'm not. I've changed. But, so have you.'_

"…and yet so different, now. I admired you - how honest you were. About everything." She wrapped her arms around her and spoke to something in the distance he couldn't see. "It didn't matter if you said the wrong thing at times or even very often. I admired that you always tried to speak what was in your heart. It never hurt my feelings. Because I knew you wouldn't hurt a single person."

_'That isn't true, either. I've hurt…many people in my lifetime.'_

"You wanted to help them. You wanted to protect them."

"But, I—"

"I saw immediately how kind you were. I listened to you speak of your mother and father…the people you knew at school. It was all so amazing to me, though you often apologized for boring me." Her voice fluctuated; at times, it sounded strong – like it was straining to be heard. Then, it would drop to something low and melancholy.

"It was a life I didn't have."

Athrun shut his eyes and felt some powerful emotion with sharpened claws tear into his chest.

"Perhaps one that should have been given to me – the everyday challenges of school, wondering if people liked me or were different… But that wasn't my life."

_'Lacus…'_ Athrun opened his eyes again. She had turned around, finally, and stood facing him. Drops of water traced paths down her cheeks, and he couldn't tell if all of them were because of the rain…

"I envied the normalcy your parents gave you. At least, the life your mother tried her best to give you. I know you said that losing her broke your father in ways he could never be repaired. Not just his heart, you said, but also his soul.

"You forgot it did the same to yours."

He looked away and his eyes found his mother's headstone.

"It killed a part of you - that you hadn't been there; that you didn't die when she was killed. She took part of you with her, and for the longest time…" Her voice lowered to something he could just barely make out over the constant hush of the rain. "I thought she'd taken your kindness."

Athrun'shead snapped back to look at her, but she had turned away from him again.

"The way she took your father's."

"It wasn't her. He was the one—"

"But when I saw you again… I knew that it was still there – buried beneath the guilt and the anger. You didn't want to see it. And you didn't want to see me…"

-

_"Athrun…" Lacus's voice sounded gentle, and she touched his arm just as gently. He wrenched out of her grasp. _

"The people of Earth – do they have no heart? No conscience? They complain that Coordinators aren't really human. BUT WHAT ARE THEY?"

"They say that anger is an important part of the grieving process. I…cannot possibly imagine the way you're feeling right now. But I'd like to try…"

"They're monsters! How does anyone kill thousands, no, hundreds of thousands of peaceful civilians?"

"Athrun…"

He glanced up at her. "We didn't do anything wrong! Why, Lacus?" He grabbed her shoulders. "Can you give me an answer? Because nothing makes sense anymore. Nothing!"

"I'm so sorry." Tears slid down her cheeks. "I'd do anything to change it. I'd do anything to bring her ba—"

"You can't bring her back." He released her and turned away. "No one can bring her back. But I can make the people who killed her suffer."

"Athrun, that's not you speaking. You know that she'd want you to forgive—"

"You don't know me," he snapped. Athrun glared at the pink-haired girl beside him. "And I have nothing to say to sympathizers."

Her eyes grew wide. "Sympathizers?"

"I joined Zaft." Athrun snarled. "The entire Earth and its inhabitants are now my enemies. I advise you to remember that if you think we're going to be married someday." He turned on his heel and stomped away.

-

"Those words hurt me so deeply… I never told you."

"Lacus…"

"You were my gift. You gave me, whether you knew it at the time or not, you gave me companionship. You gave me hope. I believed in you from the moment I heard your name, till even now. I never lost my faith in you, in having a future with you. But I was sorry that day – at your mother's funeral – when I found out you had no such faith in me."

Athrun grit his teeth. _'I never apologized to her for that?'_

"You said I didn't know you. But you were wrong.

"I knew exactly how many steps you took from your car to my front door. I knew every time which flowers you'd bring me – and that you would bring them, faithfully, whenever you came to visit. I knew by heart how many times you'd stammer your excuses why you couldn't stay. I knew which tie was your favorite, that you hated peas; I knew how much literature homework bored you, and what sonnet you had taped inside your locker door at school."

He stared at her.

"I knew what you dreamed of. And how much it hurt when your father turned away from you – precisely when you needed his support the most. I knew the lullaby your mother sang you as a child…."

_Sleep my child and peace attend thee,  
All through the night  
Guardian angels God will send thee…_

"I listened all those years. Whenever you spoke to me. I listened to the words you said, but more importantly, I listened to all the things you didn't say."

_'I didn't say?'_

"You never said you loved me. You never said you wanted to marry me."

"That was because—"

"I was…an inconvenient convenience. And the day your mother was buried was the same day I thought I buried my heart. Because whether you were beside me or somewhere, safe, 'out there'…as long as you belonged to me, then I wasn't alone." Her voice wavered and he could hear tears straining her words.

"From the day I found out you were mine…that I would be yours…"

"Lacus…"

"I didn't feel so alone anymore."


	2. You don't need me

**Title**: I Ran Away from You (part 2 of 2)  
**Author:** the Black Rose  
**Disclaimer:** I do not own Gundam Seed. This fanfiction has no commercial value and I am not making any kind of profit or income off of this story, or the use of characters owned by Sunrise and Bandai.

**Part 2**

The rain continued to fill the air like a heavy, grey mist. Athrun stared at the young woman with pale pink hair in the dark-colored suit; she hugged her arms about her body as if to shelter it from the cool air that seemed to hang in this place. Silence filled the small space left between the raindrops…

"How odd it is that hearing a few simple words would sever that connection so completely," Lacus said. "So quickly."

The former Gundam pilot winced.

"I left the graveyard in a daze. I still can't remember how I got home. All I knew was that you were hurt.

"And I was alone. Again."

_'I never imagined you as lonely. You were so loved, so adored…and who was I but another face in the crowd?'_

"I cried for hours, not knowing which I was truly grieving for – me or you. Because I had always been lonely, I knew…" Her voice dropped, and the rain intensified. Athrun had to move closer to continue to listen. "I knew I would be all right. But you…"

"Huh?"

Lacus turned to look at him again. She was closer now, and her blue eyes held his gaze. "You weren't meant to be without someone who cared about you. Your life was different, warm, filled with people close to you – and filled with love."

The former Gundam pilot glanced away.

"But from that moment on, you were different. Cold. Your eyes were no longer soft and kind, rather filled with suspicion and anger."

Athrun's heart twisted, and so did his stomach. They tied together into one big knot in the center of his body.

"So much bitterness…. And on the rare occasions you spoke. Your words carried sorrow and guilt."

"It was more than I could stand," she said in a soft voice that wavered like her throat was thick with some emotion. "So. I ran away from you."

Athrun looked up, but she had moved away. Again.

"Not physically, because I couldn't, well, I wouldn't have gotten very far, would I? Where would I go that people wouldn't recognize me? And why would I bother when I could stay where I was and still be so far away from you?"

He bowed his head and stared at the sopping ground.

"I could have tried harder to help you with your grief. I suppose that's what a fiancée would have done. Or a wife…

"I blame a lot of things on being as young as we were. Even though we're not physically much older – just three years since we stood here, at this graveyard, and wished your mother goodbye – I feel like I've lived an entire lifetime. I look back and I realize, I shouldn't have run away.

"You were a battle I should have fought. Not just for me, but for you as well."

His hands clenched into fists.

"How much suffering could have been avoided? How much pain…" Her voice took a melancholy timbre as it trailed away. "But, the past is the past, and though I wish I could have done things differently sometimes….

"I still ran away."

Athrun choked. "But we didn't—"

"I don't think you even realized when I withdrew from you. I don't know how I appeared to you or to anyone, but I know I felt differently around you. You were cold. I was distant.

"And we were both hurt. But neither one of us could console the other… It was like some invisible fortress held us both prisoner in a dark cell, and neither of us could see the other. Maybe we even heard someone else crying, but we didn't know which direction to go to reach out to the other person…

"Or if we could."

Athrun lifted his eyes; it took a moment to bring her back into focus, and he realized that one of the water droplets trailing down his cheek was warmer than the rest.

"And neither of us was brave enough to try."

"Lacus…"

-  
_It was the first time Athrun had the chance to visit since he'd been deployed to outer space. He didn't know how long they stood in silence, their backs turned like they were fighting, when neither of them had even said a word. Mr. Pink hopped up and down between them, like a child upset by his parents' argument._

_"Will you be staying for dinner?" Lacus pivoted to look at him. "I could ask Misses Cha—"_

_"No. I-I apologize," he said while staring at the floor. "I have another engagement. The military only gives me so much leave…"_

_"I know. It's all right." She stepped away. "Perhaps another time."_

_He looked up and found her across the room with his eyes. "I-I wanted to see you…before I had to go back."_

_"Thank you," she said over her shoulder. "It's very kind of you to make time to visit. I'm sure your father—"_

_"My father won't even—" He stuffed his hands in his pockets and returned his gaze to the floor. _

_"I won't be seeing him on this trip."_

_Lacus turned all the way around to finally face him. "I'm very sorry to hear that. It seems harsh that the military doesn't allow its soldiers more time to visit their families. They're people, too." A frown pinched her delicate features._

_"Lacus… The military can't just let their forces come and go as they please. There's a war going on, and—"_

_"I know…" She began, and then trailed off. Athrun continued, but ended up speaking over the rest of her sentence._

_"And I keep a prayer in my hear—"_

_"Battles. We can be under attack at any moment. There's no room for—" He stopped to let her continue._

_"Many people on the PLANTs still hope for a peaceful solution to these incidents. I believe that—"_

_"Lacus. Stop being so naïve. It's too late for that. It was too late the day they decided to attack Junius 7 and destroy it. I'm sure there are plenty of people on the PLANTs that feel that way, too."_

_Her gaze met his for a brief moment before she looked away. "I believe you're—"_

_"Or maybe you don't care how anyone else feels."_

-

"It wasn't long after this that I met Kira. If you were my gift, Kira was a dream. The very moment I saw him, I could tell what kind of person he was. And I admit; I found him very handsome."

Athrun felt the knot inside him tighten. He opened his eyes and found her again. Standing there, with her back still turned towards him – Lacus didn't seem to be near as wet as he was. Almost like even the sky knew…

"I was reminded of you…." Lacus whispered.

She paused for a moment before continuing. "The first time I spoke to him in private, I knew all about him – the kind person he was and wanted to be. I didn't know anything of his past, but that really isn't the important thing when it comes to knowing people. When he told me he was a Coordinator, I knew then… He felt just like me. Alone."

Athrun set his jaw. His heart and stomach continued to twist and churn.

"He was close to people, had many friends – just like you. But, like me, there was always something separating him from those people. Always a feeling like we were trapped in a clear, plastic box where we could see and even interact with the people on the other side, but never really be a part of their world.

"I liked him very much."

A strange, grey-and-black haze sparked pinpoints of light in his peripheral vision. Her image sharpened to the point she almost glowed.

"And it was your name that tied us together. He was your childhood friend. You were my childhood love. In other circumstances, we might have been happy, comparing notes on a mutual friend, and we could have relaxed knowing that we'd certainly meet again.

"But we were in the middle of a war. And so you changed from Athrun Zala, someone Kira and I knew from our childhoods…

"To Athrun Zala, Kira's enemy. And Athrun Zala, my broken heart."

Athrun swallowed against the hard lump in his throat.

"The very name that connected us, also kept us apart." Her voice became a whisper, and she sounded like she, too, was crying.

"And I could have loved him…."

* * *

The cold breeze slapped Athrun's cheeks, and stung his eyes. Something inside him felt like it snapped. Some connecting line between emotions and logic - located in the back of his neck – broke and leaked hot toxins in his blood. Athrun snarled. "It's always Kira!"

Lacus turned around.

He stepped towards her. "You would stand here, Lacus, by my mother's grave and blame—"

"You should know by now that I don't blame you for anything." Her head tilted to her left and she settled her eyes on him.

"Things between Kira and I were always complicated. Though on the subject of your mother, it is very nice that you decided to come for a visit." She managed to smile in all this rain.

"I'm sure she's very happy to see you. It has been three years—"

Athrun looked away. "I don't need you to remind me."

"You don't need me at all." Her voice sounded steady, even, like the pitter-patter of the rain.

"Huh?" He glanced up again and met her gaze. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means exactly what I said." She shrugged. "It's not an accusation—"

"And what am I supposed to say to that?" Something bitter filled his mouth – like those toxins had leaked from his bloodstream into the rest of him.

"Say anything you want, Athrun. I don't mind…."

"How am I supposed to need you? Huh? Why am I supposed to need you? Because our parents decided that we should marry each other and have children? Does that mean I have to need you, too?" His voice echoed in the clearing, and Athrun realized he had been yelling.

"No. It doesn't." She turned back to his mother's grave and picked up her umbrella. "And as I told you in my last letter…"

"You told me. Yeah, you told me all right." He moved forward, closer to where she stood. "You told me a lot of things…" He stopped, still a few feet away. She didn't turn around.

"But I don't understand why you're leaving."

The umbrella went up over her shoulder – like she was using it as a shield between them. "Was it any different for me, Athrun?" Her voice was quiet.

"Wha—"

"You asked if you were supposed to need me…" She spun slowly to face him. "Was I supposed to need you?" Lacus's gaze met his, and she stared at him with an intensity….

"You've never needed me, either." He glanced away. "It took me a while…to know that about you. I-I thought… It just never seemed to bother you. That someone else was deciding your life." Another hot wave of emotion washed through his system. "And you were the one! You were the one who suffered from it most. With your career. You seemed to always have managers or parents—"

"But that was my choice." Her voice remained clear and seemingly unmoved. The sadness from before was gone.

"Just because someone else desires an outcome, doesn't mean that I have to want it. Or that I have to be against it. My managers ask me to do things all the time, that when I think about their requests, I determine their decision is the same one I would make. That doesn't mean I let them choose for me. I could tell them no, but my experience indicates that their decision is the best one."

"But—"

"I suppose on the surface that would seem like they're running my life, but the actual practice is different, I think. Of course, people will still say whatever they want… I don't pay much attention to that."

A cool breeze wafted against his skin and he shivered. "Lacus…"

"And with you…"

Athrun looked up. The rain picked up as well – hiding her expression from his view.

"My father may have made a promise to yours, but you and I still had the responsibility of honoring that promise."

"How could we—"

"Marriage is a contract between two people." He thought he saw her smile. "Our parents and even the PLANT government could have made our choice very difficult, but it was still ours to make."

"I…"

"You knew that, too." Lacus spun away again; the umbrella blocked his view from her shoulders up.

"Which is why you never asked me." Her voice lowered again. "Isn't it, Athrun?"

"Yeah." The knot in his stomach wouldn't relent. "It is. I never wanted an arranged marriage. But more than that, I hated my father making that decision for me. It bothered me that you didn't seem to care one way or the other…."

"I did care." Her voice sounded very quiet. He could barely hear it above the constant patter of raindrops.

Athrun swallowed against something lodged in his throat. "I know that, now. I didn't then. And you never told me…how you felt before now."

"I wanted to…" Her voice sounded distant from the other side of the umbrella. "But we were younger then. We didn't know…I didn't know how to love you the way I should have."

She stopped. The force of the rain beat into his skin - even through his jacket.

"The way I do, now."

* * *

Silence stretched in the small space between them. The constant drizzle continued its steady tap on the soil and on Athrun's skin. The cemetery was quiet and empty – no one else was crazy enough to stand in the rain having an argument about…a discussion about…

_'Why couldn't we make this work? Where did we fail? And…does it really matter now?'_

"And what if I asked you…" He shivered again and his tongue felt heavy in his mouth. "What if I asked you to…try…to work…" He ran a hand through his sopping wet hair."I don't know what I'm trying to say, except… What if I thought I wanted to work this out? Work out…us."

She gasped. The umbrella trembled.

Athrun stepped around her shield to stand between her and his mother's grave. "What if," he swallowed and met her gaze. Her blue eyes stared back, eyebrows raised to a peak in her forehead – almost like she was pleading with him not to finish what he was going to say.

"What if we made it our choice, now?"

"It depends on why you're asking." Her voice wavered, and he saw her shiver. Lacus looked away. "I know I told you I'm leaving… If that's—"

Athrun removed his jacket and placed it over her shoulders. He gripped the top of her arms through the fabric. "It's not the reason I'm asking, Lacus."

"You're not the reason I'm leaving, Athrun."

"Then tell me why, and make it quick because this rain is getting worse and we're both going to catch cold." He tilted her chin up to make her look at him. "And be honest because I'm tired of you running away from me."

"I'm leaving because…" She pulled away and turned her back towards him again. Athrun felt like she had slapped him.

"I don't know."

"You don't know." He felt numb and he wasn't sure if it was the cold…

"Because I don't know." The umbrella fell to the ground, and she spun around. Tears coursed down her cheeks. "I don't know…anything. But at least…at least they need me there."

She turned her gaze to stare at the ground again. "The house has been so empty…."

"Lacus…"

"Sometimes…" Her voice started soft, but as she spoke, it rose to a strained pitch just above her usual speaking voice.

"I just want someone to be there. I want someone…" Lacus lifted her eyes. "I want you to talk to me, make a toy for me and have my father call to say he'll be home late… I want to be a little girl again, riding in the car with father to my lessons, and stopping for ice cream on the way home. But I can't go back…" A sob broke through and then she lowered her voice again to a whisper.

His stomach and heart decided to release, but his insides still felt tender and sore.

"We can't go back, Athrun."

"Shhhhhh… "

His hands came up to wipe tears from her eyes using his thumbs. His palms rested on either side of her face. Athrun bent his head and brushed his mouth against hers. Her eyes widened, and then slid shut. He felt something pull at the front of his shirt.

Her lips were trembling, at first, and cold. The hand that gripped his forearm just beneath his elbow shook; her fingertips dug into the fabric of his sleeve. Athrun's hands slipped down to her shoulders and then followed the skin of her arms. When they found her waist, he pulled her into an embrace and deepened the kiss.

The hush of water grew louder, and he felt the rain renew its vigor. Both of her arms wrapped around his shoulders.

The kiss broke. "Don't go," he whispered.

Lacus's arms slipped from his shoulders to just above his elbows. "You don't need me."

"But I want you. To stay." He choked on the lump in his throat and had to struggle to continue. "To be my wife. Isn't that enough?"

"I—"

"It took me a long time to figure out…certain things. But I…I'm in love with you." He tightened his hold on her waist. "Stay and marry me. The Interstellar Peace Corps can do without my wife."

"But Athrun, I'm— "

"Isn't that the right reason to ask?" He rested his forehead against hers and closed his eyes. "Because I'm in love with you?"

"Yes." She kissed his cheek and then placed her head on his shoulder.

Athrun hugged her close.

"And…" Lacus said in her gentle tone. "It's the right reason to accept."

* * *

**Epilogue**

Lacus stood in the rain, Athrun's arms around her – protecting her like he had when they were younger. His heartbeat resounded in his chest beneath her head. It was strong and steady – just like him.

"Athrun…"

-

"_I'm…I'm Athrun Zala. Your…that is…I mean… I'm your fiancé."_

"Thank you," he said as she turned to lead him inside her house.  
"For what?"  
"For understanding…what I meant."

-

"Come on." His voice rumbled in her ear. "We're both soaked. I'll take you home." He extracted himself from her embrace. She instantly felt the loss of warmth as he turned away.

Lacus clutched his arm. "Wait." He spun around and glanced down. His eyes searched hers, and her cheeks warmed.

"Lacus, what's wrong?"

"Take me to your home." She drew closer to him again. "I want…" Her whole body felt hot and cold. The heat from Athrun's embrace, his stare… The cold from the air, the rain, and…

"I want to stay with you."

A smile formed on his lips, and his eyes crinkled at the corners. He really was so kind and…

"All right. But we should probably drop by and pick up haro, don't you think?"

And he always knew just the right thing to say.

She smiled. "Oh yes! We definitely can't forget Mr. Pink." She watched him pick up her umbrella, then extend it towards her. Lacus took it from his hands. The same hands that had built Mr. Pink and fixed her Okapi when they were fourteen. The same ones that had fought so many battles…

She looked up at him again. "He was part of my engagement present after all..."

Athrun chuckled. "Yeah. But, only part of it, remember?"

Something tugged at her heart and made her stomach flip over. "I do remember. But…"

"But, what?" His lips curved downward, and his dark eyebrows creased together.

"I want to make new memories with you, Athrun."

His green eyes smiled at her from beneath his drenched hair. Lacus brought her left hand up to cup his right cheek. "I know…I know not all memories will be happy. And things…get difficult at times. But, we can work things out as long as that's what we both want."

"Yeah." He nodded. "I think so."

Lacus started away, then paused a few steps down the sidewalk. She turned back around. Athrun stood near his mother's grave; his head was bowed, and his hands were hidden in his pockets.

"Do you want some time alone with her?" She moved to his side, placed the umbrella down on the concrete, and pulled his jacket off her shoulders. Lacus draped the maroon fabric around his arms and pressed another kiss to his cheek. "I can wait in the car."

"Yeah." He glanced over his shoulder at his mother's headstone, then back at Lacus. "Only a minute though. I'll be right behind you."

She smiled and picked up her umbrella again. "Take your time. She is your mother." She started down the sidewalk towards Athrun's car.

"Thank you."

Lacus paused to call back over her shoulder. "I'll wait for you."

* * *

Athrun turned to face his mother's final resting place. The gardenias that Lacus had brought and placed at the foot of the headstone seemed to be enjoying the rain, while Athrun felt like something closer to a drowned rat.

He knelt by the grave. "Hello Mother…. I…I know it's been a long time. And for that, I can only say that I'm sorry."

The rain seemed to dissipate into a dense mist. "I'm…I'm not very good at this. Finding things to say, that is." His eyes felt hot and he blinked back tears. "I just wanted to tell you…I miss you, mom. And I hope…" His voice strained against the lump in his throat. "I hope you're looking after Father, now." He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. A few tears escaped and he felt them trace warm paths down his cheeks.

"I haven't forgiven him." His stomach twisted and turned over. "Not yet. I'm not ready to, yet.

"I'm sure Lacus will find a way to change that about me eventually." He glanced over his shoulder at the pink-haired girl…woman making her way to his car.

Athrun swallowed and returned his gaze to the gardenias. "She's good at that. Changing me, that is..."


End file.
